Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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