definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
