hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
