i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
