just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
