i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
do nipples grow back?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
