i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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