another moral hangover. fuck.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
