My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
