hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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