he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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