I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
