I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
