one might say we're banned from that church
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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