Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
