he thought i was a dude.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
