I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we're so committed to being not committed
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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