She is in my trunk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is my gift to your gina
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
