Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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