It's like God shit irony all over that family
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
