So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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