Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pants are for mortals
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
