and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
