just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
