He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How external is "for external use only"?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my liver is dry heaving
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
