hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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