# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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