No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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