My room smells like vodka and shame
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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