White coat. Heels.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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