There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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