Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
