he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
