Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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