I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
