Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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