she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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