Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
