i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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