Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
