The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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