he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
