Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize