Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
