That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
