im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
