I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
