she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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