What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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