Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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