Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
